WWE wrestler and reality star Nikki Bella has explained why she and colleague John Cena broke off their engagement two years ago.
The twin sister to Brie Bella made the reveal in her new book Incomparable, disclosing that as a couple, she and Cena ‘struggled to align’ on their future plans and desires in life.
Her words:
Rather than turn and face that, I pushed it under the carpet and figured I could pretend like it wasn’t there. Because I was terrified of losing my love, I stuffed my desire for marriage and kids as deep as I could.
He had made it clear that they weren’t on the menu for him. That’s tough though, because if you’re inclined that way, then the more you grow to love someone, the more you want it all.
I stopped giving voice to those needs though. I was worried my ex would call it off and let me go. And while I wanted those things very badly, I just wanted him more.”
Continuing, she said:
I have many regrets about that relationship. The primary one is that I wish I’d known myself better before I got into it. I wish I’d understood how the patterns in my life and my relationship with my own father informed how I react to love, boundaries and feelings of abandonment.
I think I could have averted some of what happened. Because my dad left when I was 15, I learned how to fill in the holes. I expect to be left behind and find a way to not confront or acknowledge those feelings of loneliness and abandonment.”
Nikki Bella and John Cena broke off their engagement in 2018 and split after being together for 6 years.
