Why I Fell Out With My Nigerian Father – Dele ‘Alli’

Nigerian-born English footballer, Dele Alli, has opened up on why he fell out with his father in Nigeria.

He said the separation between 54-year-old Kehinde and 60-year-old mom Denise affected his upbringing, stating he felt ‘betrayed’ by them.

The former Tottenham player said he no longer speaks to his biological parents despite efforts to reconcile with him.

In a candid intervie with former England international Gary Neville, he opened up on a number of moving topics, including childhood abuse and an addiction to sleeping tablets which he recently entered rehab for.

Dele also touched on his mum, 60-year-old Denise, and dad, 54-year-old Kehinde, who is a multi-millionaire businessman in Nigeria and a prince of the African nation’s Yoruba tribe.

The pair split when he was young, leading to a tumultuous childhood which has had a major impact on his life ever since. Dele’s mum, who was an alcoholic, gained custody of him.

He revealed he was molested by one of her friends at six, became involved in dealing drugs aged eight before he moved to live with his dad in Lagos.

Reflecting on that period of his life, when he is said to have attended a private £20,000-a-year international school, Dele said on The Overlap: “My dad, my blood dad, lived in Africa.

“And then I got sent to him. I was meant to stay there for a year. It was horrible. I didn’t want to be there at all. Nothing against, you know where I was, but just going from what I was living in, because we had no money – mum had no money.

“There was always like 10 guys, like just around, like just in the house. Yeah, like it was definitely like the drugs, but yeah, so there was that.

“And then it was just a big culture change, and I didn’t want to be there, so I’d be a little bit naughtier and then after six months I got sent back.”

Dele ultimately ended up living with Alan and Sally Hickford, the parents of one of his team-mates in the MK Dons academy. He refers to them as his adoptive family, although that’s never legally been the case.

“My adopted family did amazing things, because they would really piece things together,” he continued. “There’s a lot of things that I would question myself about because it went against my values and who I am as a person or what I want to do.

“And I’d question why I made them decisions, but they could link a lot of things. Like, for example, so I used to have like house parties, and I didn’t care who was in the house whilst playing football.

“So, I’d have house parties and that was very much how my [biological] mum’s house was without me knowing. It was my comfort zone – it was normal to me. So, just little things like that.”

Denise and Kehinde gradually slipped out of Dele’s life – so much so that he opted to wear ‘Dele’ on his back instead of his surname after signing for Tottenham in 2015.

They reunited to hold an interview with the Sunday Mirror after repeated attempts to see him – including standing outside Spurs’ training ground and paying for a tour of White Hart Lane in the hopes of crossing paths – were unsuccessful.

Kehinde suggested his son was being manipulated for financial gain, saying: “I just do not understand what we have done wrong. He refuses to speak to me and it feels like he’s been taken from us. But I won’t give up on getting him back.”

Denise, meanwhile, added: “I’m a very miserable person because I get so sad that Dele is missing out on his family and we’re missing out on him.

“I want to be able to hug him and let him know we all love him to bits. I’m not interested in his money, I’d love him the same if he worked in McDonald’s. We just want our son back.”

Explaining why he froze them out of his life, Dele told Neville: “My dad went missing for a while, and he might come out now and say some stuff about me, but when I started playing for England, he came back and then I used to speak to my mum as well. Just to try and help her.

“I don’t speak to my mum anymore. So, when I was 18, my biological mum and dad went to the newspaper and like, started accusing the family that adopted me of doing all this stuff when they didn’t know what they had, like they were the ones that used to make me go and see my mum.

“I never wanted to go. They would always tell me, ‘She’s your mum, like you should have a relationship with her’. And I think that spoke volumes, like what they were doing. They were just doing it generally because they’re amazing people. So yeah.

“And then my mum – my blood mum and dad – went to the press saying that these people are taking advantage of me. They want to go through my contracts. And I hadn’t spoken to him for years.

“I knew that wasn’t my mum’s decision because I know she didn’t really leave Milton Keynes. Like there was no way she’d done that.

“So, yeah, after that I just felt so betrayed and let down. And hurt that I just couldn’t keep the relationship with my mum. And my dad, I don’t want a relationship with him either.”