These days if you want to get down with anyone, please kindly ask them the last time they went for a medical check up. The sorts of disease people carry lately is beyond what one can comprehend. Just yesterday, a brother suddenly collapsed in front of a podium in the middle of a board presentation. Also, not too long ago, a very promising young medical doctor was confirmed dead of H.I.V aids. These developments have prompted us to get a detailed list of who to use condom for.
If your girl switches off her phone when she’s with you, please use a condom. If she wears a waist bead or angle chains, brother! Help your life by using a condom. Those types of girl that pulls off your boxers themselves, shield yourself! Use a condom. If she wears a tattoo, use a very reliable condom, if she doesn’t hesitate when you touch her, use a condom, if she dyes or tints her hair use a condom. If she wears shorts, use a condom. If she lives alone, kindly use condom, if she travels to Dubai, South Africa, regularly, help your destiny by using a condom. If she’s still studying at Mapoly, Nigeria Institute of Journalism, Lautech, Unilag, use a condom. If she tells you she’s hungry anytime you call her, it is a heavenly sign! Use a condom. If she’s a student but with a child, use a condom! If she’s from Calabar, Benue, uncle! Do not use a cheap condom.
If she’s a slay mama, use a condom. If she calls herself a malian! Use a condom! If she has a ring on her nose, use a condom. If she wears clothes that exposes vital parts of her body! Please triple the condom. If she has a large following on social media platforms, kindly condomise. If she’s always online,kindly double the condom. If she’s always one of the first to check your status online, Bros run for your life. If she drinks beer or smokes weed, use a perfect NAFDAC registered condom.
If she sells perfumes online, use a condom, if she’s bleaches her skin, use a condom, and finally if her name is Venessa, Mistura, Seun, Ife, Amaka, Chinwe, Queen, Babi, Angela, Casandra, Chinwe, Funke, Bolaji, use a very good condom!
Please avoid touching stories, the year is too early to nurse frustrating diseases. Also be extremely careful out there, streets are not smiling.
